"quaint & rustic"

My best friend calls certain things "quaint and rustic" translation: old and crappy.  I few weekends ago on my way to my parents I took time to stop to take a few pictures of some old barns and an old bridge. When I showed them to Christy she smiled and said, "ahhh look, quaint and rustic."  She was quick to say that it had nothing to do with my ability, but that the subjects were "quaint and rustic."  I knew what she meant and smiled.  I tried to explain to her when I see these old barns they remind me of home.  Then she smiled, I knew she understood.

Honestly, they remind me of so much more.  I think about how they were built by hand in a specific place, with a special purpose in mind, a unique design to each one, and covered in a new coat of paint.  As time goes by the purpose may change, the design can be modified, and the paint begins to fade away, yet they stay in the same place.  That is a lot like me.  I was designed and made by God with a special purpose in mind, a unique design, covered in a new coat, and placed in a specific place.  As time goes by, I change my purpose, modify my design, my coat becomes tattered, and yet I stay in the same place. I never move into a higher or closer place in Him. 
I was created to move, to evolve in Him, to become like Him, not to stay in the same place.  I struggle with this daily.  I like staying in my comfort zone.  Don't misunderstand I love visiting new places and seeing new things, but I love home.  What I don't like is change.  I don't handle it well.  I can deal within it, as long as I know it is not permanent.  If it is permanent, then I become very tense, nervous, anxious to the point of being sick.  Sometimes just the thought about changing something can make me physically sick.  It's no different in my spiritual life.  I am comfortable in the place He put me.  I'm like the old barn, I can't move, the thought of it is an impossible one. 
When I begin to think it is impossible He provides a bridge to cross over.  However, on most days I do not have the faith to take the first step.  In my mind it's an old rickety one that looks like it could fall apart at any moment. If it was new and well constructed it wouldn't take any faith at all to walk across it.  However, an old one like the one below takes more faith to cross.  Am I just that comfortable on this side? Or am I to scared of what might be expected of me on the other side?  Or is it that I don't have enough faith to put one foot in front of the other and trust Him that He won't let the bridge collapse? I'm not sure exactly, maybe I am I just not ready yet to cross over.  I have felt like I have lost my faith and trust not in God, but in others.  People promise you so much, yet they deliver very little.  Maybe if I had the ability to cross the bridge I could learn to exercise my faith a little more.  

 

Maybe Christy is right maybe they are just "quaint and rustic" but for me they are comfort and change all in one.