crises = changes?

It is no surprise to anyone who knows me that I don't t handle change well, I can deal within it, but I like things to be constant. February was a state of chaos. It was like a ferris wheel that I couldn't escape. I kept waiting for the ride to end, but it never did. I just kept going around and around. Some days were like being on the top when you can see everything clearly and other days were like being in the middle, in limbo, where on one side you can see but if you look the other way you can't because the bars of the machine keep getting in the way.
On the heels of finding out that Tommy will be leaving (see I'm Spinning post) for Denver on Thursday for rehab, I found a note on his desk that he had written on a post-it, "Takes Crisis for Change -- Worry or Trust Matthew 7:24-27." I read it and smiled. It was like this handwritten note was the pass I needed to make the ride stop. I am at the bottom and I am getting off and walking away. I still have some nausea from going around in circles so many times, but it has finally stopped.
Tommy has an uncanny way of making you love him at the same time you want to strangle him. Today when we saw him he looked amazing. His color was normal and his eyes were bright and alert. He was wanting us to tell him about work, if we were following up with his clients, which is totally Tommy. Then out of no where he mouths, "I miss you guys." Why did he have to go there? I smiled and lost it. I haven't really cried over this situation and didn't want to now, especially in front of him. I got so mad at him I wanted to tell him, "Look we have about 5 minutes with you and you say that. No. Tell me who I need to call, what to do, not 'i miss you.' How dare you get sappy on me now." This is one time the filter in my mouth worked. I said nothing. I just turned around and looked at the pictures of family and friends that drape his ICU room.
When I got back to my desk I looked at the handwritten note that is now taped to my monitor and thought to myself how this crisis will bring change. A change in our company, a change in our relationships, a change in what we now value as important in our lives, and a change in our personal relationship with God? How will we react to the changes? Will we worry or will we trust in HIM? It's still to early to know yet. The path ahead is long with many turns, but I hope that we learn to trust that God is in the details, all we have to do is let him guide us down the path, no matter how long or how difficult the journey.